


Never Said I Couldn't Improvise

by killfascination



Category: Original Work
Genre: Badass female character, Exclusive Hitman Challenge Club, Minor Character Death, Plenty of swearing, getting paid to fuck around, hitman club, hotel clerk death, incorrect use of a phone book, no description of blood or gore, professional criminals, professional hit, professional killers being dorks, there's a gun, vague descriptions of hacking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killfascination/pseuds/killfascination
Summary: “You can always take the pass,” Casey offered. “Chicken out, forfeit-”“Fuck you,” Shannon told them, grabbing the paper from Jonathon’s hand. “I’m gonna fucking do it and do it flawlessly, as always."Or the one where four dorky friends who are also professional criminals challenge each other to kill people in interesting ways with interesting obstacles, and this is Shannon's first challenge.





	Never Said I Couldn't Improvise

There was a gun on the table, sitting right beside the stack of National Geographic magazines and four generic black drink coasters.

“So, thanks to some fortunate circumstances,” Vernon started, a mischievous glint in his dark brown eyes. “We’re going to able to combine business with pleasure and actually get paid for today’s challenge.” Shannon, Casey, and Jonathon stood by the table, ignoring the gun, while Vernon explained Shannon’s task to her, grinning the whole time.

“My first time in this little hitman club of yours and I’m getting paid?” Shannon mused, arms crossed. “Maybe this wasn’t as dumb as I had originally thought.”

“You thought it was dumb and you still agreed to join?” commented Casey with a laugh, their hands perched on their hips in a joking manner. Shannon just flashed them a smile as Vernon retrieved his phone from his pocket and opened his photo gallery. He clicked on a candid photo of an adult male in his twenties, with a lanky frame, shaggy brown hair, and a five o’clock shadow and continued with his explanation.

“There’s this guy,” he started, showing Shannon the picture as he talked. “He works the front desk at this shitty hotel today and a bunch of my customers want him gone. Like, two of my high-profile customers.” Shannon raised her eyebrow.

“That’s not really a bunch, but I see your point,” she told him. He waved his hand dismissively.

“Terminology is not important,” he replied. “What is important is that this guy, Harry, is a class A douchebag. He frequents this gambling ring that a few of my clients have ties with and he’s been causing a bit too much trouble. He’s tried to cheat, has faked a couple emergencies to bail when he was losing, and he’s even made some lewd comments about some ‘esteemed’ guests.

“Point is, he’s gotta go. Unfortunately, Harry’s friends know he’s a part of this gambling ring and my clients don’t want this to come back and bite them in the ass. They’re already taking a risk by even being a part of this gambling shit, and if this hit ties back to it or any of them they’re hooped. These particular clients are sort of, shall we say, publicly scrutinized and all have pristine reputations to uphold.”

“So, these guys are politicians and this hit needs to not look like a hit,” she clarified. Vernon ran a hand through his dark hair with a frustrated sigh as Shannon continued. “But wasn’t supposed to know that they’re politicians. Whoops. Be vaguer next time. Though, it’s not like we care.”

“I know you don’t ca- whatever.” Vernon said, gesturing to a piece of paper Jonathon was holding. “Jon’s got the address and your gun’s on the table. Oh! One more thing…” Shannon gave him a cautious look.

“There’s some silly catch, isn’t there?” she asked.

“It wouldn’t be a challenge if it was easy,” stated Jon with a small grin. Shannon frowned.

“The hotel lobby will be pretty busy,” Vernon told her, purposefully drawing the moment out.

“And?” she asked, prompting Vernon as he grinned. Casey, watching the scene unfold, fiddled with a few strands of their short blonde hair in amusement but said nothing. Jonathon seemed to be holding his breath.

“You can’t wear a disguise, you have to kill him in the lobby,” continued Vernon. “And you have to use this gun – it has no silencer.” The room was silent for a moment before Shannon finally responded.

“What. The. Fuck.”

“You can’t break any of those rules or you automatically lose and-” Vernon started. Shannon glared and cut him off.

“I know the fucking rules,” she told him, clenching her left hand in a fist. “And I’m telling you that this is completely ludicrous!” She was yelling at all three of them as they tried to hide their smiles. “No cover, no silencer, and in the middle of a goddamn crowd! What the actual fuck!”

“We’ll disable the security cams,” interjected Casey. Shannon shot them a look.

“There will still be a fuckton of eye-witnesses!” she practically screamed. Jon held his hands up defensively.

“Look,” he started. “You agreed to be in the Exclusive Hitman Challenge club!” Casey bit their lip in an attempt to not laugh at the ridiculous name they had somehow agreed to use.

“Yes, I wanted to be challenged, have some fun, not end my goddamn career!” Shannon huffed loudly, loose strands of dark brown hair fluttering in front of her face as she breathed.

“You can always take the pass,” Casey offered, still on the verge of cracking up. “Chicken out, forfeit-”

“Fuck you,” she told them, grabbing the paper from Jonathon’s hand. “I’m gonna fucking do it and do it flawlessly, as always. Unlike you brainless cocksuckers.” Casey made a noise in protest but was ignored. Shannon grabbed the gun off the table, gave it a once over, and left the apartment with it tucked in her holster, middle finger raised in the air.

The door slammed behind her and the three burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, her face!” exclaimed Casey, leaning against Vernon who was wheezing. Jon’s light hair was a mess as he combed his fingers through it, no longer laughing but still smiling like a maniac.

“I guess we should get on those cameras,” he pointed out, but Casey shook their head.

“I got them ready before hand,” they said. Vernon shoved them.

“You were so sure she’d take the hit, weren’t you?” he asked, but Casey just shrugged.

“I thought she might get mad, but ultimately I knew she’d do it,” they responded, moving towards their computer. “That girl cannot back down from a challenge.”

They gathered around the computer and waited for a while, Casey checking the cameras as the other two absently scrolled through their phones. It was almost twenty minutes later when Jon received a text.

“It’s from Shannon,” he told them, reading the message that appeared on the screen. “She says she’s a block away and has her comm.” Casey nodded and pulled up a menu on their computer, clicking around and turning up the volume of the desktop speakers. There was a momentary crackling before they heard what sounded like a busy street corner.

“You there?” they heard Shannon ask. Casey turned their microphone on and answered with a quick ‘yup’. “Good,” replied Shannon. “Cut the feed.”

Casey hit the short-cut command they made and the camera feed stopped recording. Casey made sure the feed malfunctioned for the building’s security office but not for their own so the three could watch the events unfold.

“All good,” Casey told her, and they heard a door open as Shannon appeared on the screen in front of them. They watched as she approached the front desk, walking casually through the hotel lobby as if she was a regular customer.

“What do you think she’s gonna do?” asked Casey.

“She could create a distraction,” offered Vernon, eyes never leaving the screen. “Overload everyone’s senses so the gunshots don’t even register.” Jonathon was about to add something when Shannon walked right up to Harry and spoke.

“Hi, I’d like to book a room,” she started, leaning on the counter. “But I forgot my wallet and phone at my friend’s place, and I kind of need them. Can I use your phone?” They heard the man stutter out a yes as he tried to pick the phone up from his desk.

“He’s such a dunce,” commented Vernon. “There’s a reason he’s working at this shit hole and not at a better hotel.” Shannon, pretending not to have heard Vernon, walked around to the other side of the desk and reached for the phone, but paused momentarily to give Harry a sheepish look.

“I can’t remember her number,” she told him, and the three back at the apartment squinted at the screen in confusion. “Can I borrow the phone book?” Harry nodded quickly, setting down the phone and scrambling for one of the drawers under the counter.

“What are you doing?” questioned Casey. Shannon gave the camera a sly smile.

“You said I couldn’t bring a silencer,” she mumbled as Harry retrieved the phone book. “Never said I couldn’t improvise.” Casey gave Jonathon a questioning glance – Jon had known Shannon the longest out of all of them – and he responded by chuckling.

“True,” he said into the mic as Harry turned around and handed Shannon the book with an awkward smile. They couldn’t see her reaction from their angle but her tone of voice conveyed more than enough.

“Thanks,” she said, voice sugar-sweet as she took the phone book from him with her right hand. With lightening-quick reflexes, Shannon stepped forward and pushed the book against Harry’s chest. She drew her gun, placing it against the phone book and right over his heart, and pulled the trigger. 

Without hesitation, she swiveled around as Harry’s body dropped to the floor and aimed at the fire extinguisher behind her. She shot it twice, creating a huge cloud that surrounded her in seconds. She grabbed a few key cards from the rack on the wall as well as the room ledger before ducking out from behind the desk, the white cloud masking her movements.

“Holy shit!” she screamed, pretending to be scared civilian as she joined the panicked crowd. She held the book close to her chest, gun long-hidden under her jacket along with the room ledger and key cards.

Casey switched off the security feed and started making sure the footage was in fact gone as they listened to Shannon pick her way through the mass of people on the sidewalk. Vernon got up and pulled out his phone, typing in a memorized number.

“Room keys and ledger, nice touch,” he commented absentmindedly as he brought the phone to his ear and left the room.

“Saw them as I walked up,” replied Shannon, already a couple blocks a way from the hotel. “Thought they’d make a decent cover story. At least one that our dear, narrow-minded police force will follow without question.”

“The footage is gone,” Casey told her suddenly, receiving a quick ‘thanks’ in return.

“You fucking did it,” said Jonathon, the slightest hint of disbelief in his voice. Shannon snorted.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” she asked. Jon laughed. Casey rubbed their cloudy grey eyes and started shutting down their computer.

“Am I good to end the connection?” they asked, referring to Shannon’s comm.

“Yup, go right on ahead,” she replied. “See you fucks in a little while!” The speakers crackled for a second before the line went dead. Jon sat back in his chair and watched as Casey worked until Vernon came back from the other room.

“Clients are satisfied,” he told them, pocketing his phone. “And they’re going to send a little thank you our way once everything’s calmed down.”

“Give my cut to Shannon, I did fuck all,” Jon told him. “That is, assuming the ‘thank you’ is just more money.” Vernon crossed his arms and frowned dramatically.

“I was totally gonna do that with my cut, now I’ll just look like I’m fucking copying you.” Jon laughed as Vernon pouted. “And yeah, it’s just extra cash.”

“I, personally, am not doing that,” Casey interjected, raising their hand. “Considering I actually did something and would love to get paid for it.” Jon started laughing again, making Casey grin. Vernon shook his head but they could see a small smile play across his lips.

“Shall we check the news while we wait for Shann-a-lam?” asked Vernon. “See if anyone’s picked up the story yet? Test the local media’s response time?” He was met with noncommittal noises and the three of them moved back to the living room.

They were all piled onto the couch watching the TV when Jon got another text.

“She’s on the elevator ride up,” he let the other two know. “Should be here any second.”

They waited quietly, listening for any footsteps, when suddenly the front door flew open and a mangled phone book came hurtling into the room, sailing over their heads. Vernon ducked to protect his head as Shannon stepped inside and tossed the key cards in their direction, dropping the ledger on the welcome mat before closing the door behind her.

“Miss me?” she asked sarcastically, moving towards the couch.

“Nope,” quipped Jon. Shannon stopped in front of TV, blocking their view, and crossed her arms.

“Move over boys and… whatever Casey is,” she said, nudging Vernon with her foot. Casey just laughed at her, shuffling towards Jon as the three moved closer to the right side of the couch.

Shannon sighed as she plopped herself down beside Vernon, retrieving her phone from her coat pocket as she made herself comfortable. There was no noise besides the news anchor as she narrated the chaos on screen, and Shannon nonchalantly scanned her phone as the other three waited for the proverbial shoe to drop. Finally, she plucked the remote from Casey’s hand, eyes never leaving her phone, and pressed the mute button.

“You may have thought that your little stunt was funny,” she started, turning to face the others. “But I hope you realize this means I won’t be pulling any punches when it comes to setting up little ‘challenges’ for you three.” She held up her phone in front of her, pretending to read something. “It looks as if I have a few jobs here that could use some spicing up,” she continued with a smile. Vernon sighed.

“We did not think this through,” he said. Jon held up his hands and leaned away.

“It was your idea,” he reminded him. Vernon reached across Casey and poked Jon in the ribs.

“You went along with it, you fuck.” Casey tried to shrink back into the couch cushions but Vernon elbowed them. “Don’t pretend you weren’t all for it too.”

“I didn’t say anything,” they pointed out. Vernon turned back to Shannon.

“You know we were just challenging you a bit, right?” he said, attempting to remedy the situation a bit. Shannon turned away to look back at her phone, ignoring Vernon in favour of making a few mildly concerning comments.

“Ooh, this sounds promising,” she mused, pretending to talk to herself. “Be better if there were more reptiles involved…” Vernon did a double-take.

“Did you just say more reptiles?” he clarified, his voice going up an octave. “Please tell me she did not say more reptiles.” He looked to Casey for help but they were stifling their laughter, a small smile on their lips. He turned back to Shannon when Jon grinned in his direction, quiet chuckles joining Casey’s muffled snickering.

“It wouldn’t be too hard to bring in some more snakes,” Shannon continued. “Maybe an alligator.”

“You’re fucking pulling my leg now, aren’t you?” Vernon questioned, trying to read over her shoulder but she turned towards him, making it impossible for him to see her phone screen. “You can’t be telling the truth, right?” Casey caught a glimpse of his face and cracked up, prompting Jon’s chuckling to dissolve into full blown laughter as he leaned back into the couch. Vernon glared at them and started pointing at Shannon wildly. “She’s gotta be lying, right?”

Shannon just smiled slyly, ignoring Vernon’s panicked hand gestures as she pocketed her phone and unmuted the TV.

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally just inspired by a line of dialogue and became a lot bigger than I thought. I might even make a series out of it.
> 
> If you see any mistakes please tell me, as I am unfortunately my own editor and find editing my own writing to be quite difficult.


End file.
